You Might be a Moonbat if....

Taking a cue from Jeff Foxworthy and his “You Might be a Redneck if…” routine; I thought it might be fun to cast the routine in a new light: “You Might be a Moonbat if.”

(To the uninitiated, a Moonbat is a frothing leftist of the lowest order.)

You Might be a Moonbat if:

1. You think Palin is unprepared when she cannot answer a Katie Couric question on John McCain’s regulatory record, yet Biden said FDR was president in 1929 and went on TV to lessen fears.
2. You think Sarah Palin is unqualified because she never had an abortion.
3. You think being a “Community Organizer” is better experience as an executive than being a Governor.
4. You open your mailbox and a Jan Wenner magazine has arrived much to your delight.
5. You rail against Federal Regulators at a banking and finance hearing in 2004 because he said Fannie and Freddie were in trouble.
6. You drive an SUV, own a great mansion, fly on private planes around the world and think the “earth has a fever” and we should be changing our light bulbs to ones containing mercury.
7. You think we can wean ourselves from oil overnight.
8. You trust Obama’s judgment about the “surge” despite its great success.
9. You want to sit and talk man to man with Ahmadinejad without preconditions and think his type will live up to his word.
10. You think Islam is a religion of peace, and moderate Muslims will convert the fanatics.
11. You think Bristol should be famous for being a pregnant teenager instead of fame for having two NASCAR races or being the home of ESPN.
12. You trust the main stream media.
13. You think the term “Truther” is a good thing.
14. You voted for the war before you voted against it.
15. You voted against the first gulf war, for the second, and against the surge.
16. You think there are at least 57 states.
17. You think it's not surprising that small town Americans get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."
18. You are a presidential candidate and you do not know about Hanford, Washington.
19. You want sex education in Kindergarten. (Yes he did say it, I heard the tape)
20. You utter the words: “God damned America” from the pulpit.
21. You received campaign contributions from Palestine.
22. Your candidate utters the following words: “My Muslim faith” and had to be corrected by George Stephanopolous on his own religion.
23. You get a tingle down your leg when you listen to Obama.
24. You are only now proud to be an American.
25. You utter the words: “Hold on, I cannot hear myself” as you stutter without a teleprompter.
26. You are both FOR NAFTA and AGAINST it.
27. You tell a sitting Senator to leave Washington during the biggest financial crises our nation has experienced from the floor of the Senate.
28. You think MSNBC is a right wing shill.
29. Your favorite commentator is Keith Olberman.
30. You think Dan Rather was a victim of the vast-right-wing-conspiracy.
31. Rosie O'Donnell is an icon in your circles.
    
32. You still think Jimmy Carter was a great President.
33. You think other countries liking us important and achievable.
34. You live in Hollywood or work in the film industry.
35. Going to an island resort is roughing it for you.
36. You use Wal-Mart only as a reference when giving directions.
37. You are a professor at a college or university.
38. You are a government worker.
39. Open borders is a safe thing in your world.
40. You believe illegal aliens are just trying to find jobs and only come from Mexico.
41. You want illegal aliens to have health care, driver's licenses, and in-state college tuition.
    
42. The mere mention of Fox News makes your skin crawl.
43. You read the New York Times to get all the news that's fit to print and believe it.
44. Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin, or Babs Streisand are heroes to you.
45. Cuba is on your list of great vacation spots.
46. Venezuelan Hugo Chavez is a hero to your friends and allies.
47. You thought the million Mom march was attended by a million Moms.
48. You look up to people like Howard Dean.
49. You got mad when the media FINALLY released the news about Edward's love baby.
    
50. You voted for Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, or Harry Reid.

This is of course only a partial list. Please feel free to add more.